


Goddamnit, Spider

by scream_7



Series: An Arachnid And A Mutt [1]
Category: Tortall - Tamora Pierce
Genre: Original Character(s), Spider gets drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-30
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-06 20:09:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1870761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scream_7/pseuds/scream_7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spider and Emry fight. Chaos ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goddamnit, Spider

"I want this going with out a hitch!" Spider said to the gathered group of five people. They were the best thieves in the world, from every place there was. All to go after this, a haul of precious paintings and jewelry from all over. Rosco had gone to great pains for this heist. But the Crown had gone to great pains to protect the artifacts the royal museum was currently housing. This included a round-the-clock roster of Dogs dedicated solely to guarding the museum. "Spider? Where'd you get the blueprints?" Victor, the worlds best forgery make of course, asked. "Fletcher, of course," she grinned. "Now, we went scouting yesterday, anything to worry about?" She asked. "Nope," Nozzle said ,"Only real thing to worry about is the guard schedule. They try to keep it random, but there's a pattern. 42 minutes back, and hour and 56 foreword, 33 minutes back and three hours and 21 minutes. "Alright, split up, you know where to go. Remember, no bloodshed unless it's necessary." Spider said. When she got to the entrance she was supposed to be slipping in she cursed mentally. The guard was very familiar. She slipped by him and proceeded with the plan as Nathan distracted the guards. She clasp the small necklace Rosco gave to her that slipped her past the wards. There was another Dog inside, so she took to the ceiling, climbing across the delicately carved marble, perfect for climbing 20 feet up. Vaulted ceilings, she thought, my favorite.Once she reached what she wanted, a small picture, she let go and landed quietly on her feet like a cat. She carefully checked for a pressure plate before snatching the painting and replacing it with the fake. She carefully stuck the real one in her bag and moved on to the rest of the paintings, statutes, and her personal favorite, jewelry. She climbed back up a marble column, her bag notably heavier, and grinned. No trouble, as always. The rest of her team was having similar success. The place had been crawling with detection spells, but the mages had taken care of that. She was just about out of the main foyer, running full tilt to the door. Emry stepped in front of her, blades drawn. "What the hell, Spider?!" "Shit!" She yelled and side stepped, trying to run past him. She nearly skewered herself on a dagger. "You realize stealing anything in here has the potential to start wars, right?" Emry said. "Yeah, well sorry!" She shrugged and grabbed one of the antiquate double ended spears on the wall. "Damn it, Spider!" He said approaching her. She panicked and cast a sleeping spell. The look of betrayal on his face as he collapsed was going to haunt her for a long time. She ran out the door after the others. They ran on the rooftops all the way to the Dancing Dove. Rosco was waiting for them. "Was it a success?" He asked. "Yes." Spider replied shortly. She pulled out the paintings one by one to appreciative whistles. "Your promise, Rosco?" she raised an eyebrow. Rosco had promised an added bonus if there was no blood shed. "Of course," he grinned, "Pick any piece you want. She chose one that looked expensive, so much so that even the black market would shirk at buying it. It was beautiful and had intricate silver and gold in lade over the palladium it was made of. It was perfect for storing magical energy. And the pink diamond in the middle surrounded by jade was beautiful. She still felt guilty about Emry, though, and the next morning she went to his apartment to try and explain. Her knock went unanswered. "Emry?" She called. He unlocked the door. "Don't worry, I haven't turned you in. Yet." He said coldly. Behind him she could see a dagger, unsheathed, laying on his desk. It wasn't like him to leave his weapons lying around. "Emry look, it was a job, its not like I could just say no!" she tried to explain. "Yeah, and thanks to that job I'll probably be losing mine. Not to mention you knocked me out! For doing MY job!" He yelled. "Damn it all," Spider punched the wall and heard a sickening crack. She had broken her hand. She could've healed it with her Gift, but left it instead. As a reminder. She left the ring on the table, in the complete center. 

This is what I get for dating someone crooked, Emry thought. Who'd have thought it wouldn't work out with a girl who makes a living doing exactly what you're supposed to stop.

"I knew this was trouble," Spider grumbled into the almost empty bottle. She had given up on glasses a while ago. "Rosco told me!" She yelled and took the last swig of alcohol in the bottle before hurling it at a wall. Emry, not being a drinker, went for a run.

He ended up at his old family home. Spider stared at the mark it made on the wall for a long time before reaching for another unopened bottle. And the she tipped her head back and drank.

Emry's sister came out of Johnson Manor. I'm just having great luck today, he thought. "Hey, Eleanor." He said. "Congratulations, Emry. You're a full Dog now, aren't you?" She asked. Emry nodded. "What's wrong?" She said after a moment. "Won't Mom and Dad be mad about you talking to me?" Emry countered. "Yeah," she shrugged "So?" So he told her the story of his Puppy year, Spider and all. The last bit could have gotten both he and Spider arrested, but he trusted his sister. She was silent for a long moment when he finished. "That's...that's a lot to deal with. Do you wanna come back?" She asked. He shook his head. "Hell no. Not...not because I hate you guys or anything, but in that world I'm only worth something because I AM a Johnson. Say what you will about the Cesspool, but at least in there people judge you by how you act, not how you look, or what your name is." "That sound nice. I wish I could go there," she said. Without meaning to, Emry laughed. "No offense, but you'd probably be robbed blind." "Thank you, brother, I feel the love,"she grinned at him and he grinned back. "I have to figure out what to tell her." He said, suddenly serious. Eleanor knew he meant Spider."I can't help you there. I'm sorry. A girl from around here is easy to please, just be rich and beautiful. A woman like Spider... She's a very smart woman. And not easily pleased with platonic things," she said. Emry snorted. Of course that would be that woman he picked, the complicated one. Eventually he just said goodbye to Eleanor, thanked her for listening, and stopped by Spider's. 

He slipped the ring (he still wasn't taking anything that expensive) and a pot of hangover cure under her door. He knew she would need it. Then, after leaving one of his spare Dog tags so she could contact him, he went home to berate himself in peace.

Spider moaned and rolled over. Off the couch. Into a pile of glass. She hissed as the shards found their way into her back. There was no way she could get these out on her own. Oh well, she thought, and finished the remaining half of a bottle to dull the pain. Spider may not have noticed, but it was the next morning.

Emry figured he ought to check on her, so he picked the lock to her apartment. Thus far, he was the only one who had managed to do this. Probably because Spider had taught him herself Spider heard the door opening and grabbed the top of the shattered bottle. I'm not drunk, she told herself, I can do this just fine. The blood poured down her back and dripped on the floor. Emry groaned, looking at the mess. "You're going to need a healer." He said. Spider swore she had thought a very smooth and coherent sentance to prove that, no, she did not need a Healer. What actully came out of her mouth was a garbled,"I's fine. 'M feelin grate." She gigled. "I mean..." He rolled his eyes and picked her up. "Anisa is gonna start charging me someday." He muttered. "No!" Spider protested, getting dangerously close to the open window. Emry had seen her escape through there many times. But she was sober then... He caught her in the same hold he would use for a suicidal person. Dog training came in handy sometimes when Spider was drunk. "Don't be an idiot, you're bleeding everywhere." He said. "Lemme go!" She yelled, struggling. She lunged for the window even while being held. "I don't wanna go!" "Spider, goddammit, you're seeing a healer." He said. Anisa's apartment was just down the hall, and he knew she'd probably be home. "Nooo!" She whined. "I feel good! The healer will take it away!"

Emry groaned and forced her down the hallway. He knocked on Anisa's door. "Hey, Anisa? I need to call in a favor. It's Emry, Beka's.. partner." He had been about to say Puppy and corrected himself. Spider was still struggling. "Sake!" She started yelling desperately. "Whiskey! Spirits! 'Mry, lemme go, I want my bottle!" He sighed. Anisa opened the door, saw the situation, and said "Come in. You should really lay off the alcohol, Spider, it's hell on your the Gift." Spider ignored her. "Uhg, got anything? I'm willing to drink anything! Sake?" Anisa groaned at that and reached out to Spider with her Gift. She yelped as the glass shards ejected themselves from her skin, then vanished. The cuts healed. "What'd you do that for?" Spider asked, "It made it go away. I wanted it there." "Seriously Spider? You're gonna kill yourself with the drinking. Have you looked at your Gift in a while?" Anisa asked. Spider did, and was horrified to find it a much smaller, dimmer fire than it had been. If her Gift died, so did she. She couldn't rile up enough energy to really care. She just shrugged. Emry shook his head. "I don't know about you anymore. Or about us. There are huge chunks of our lives that can never mix, how are we supposed to have a relationship?" "Exactly," she countered. "So leave me here. I appreciate all you've done, Guardsman Johnson. And this is goodbye," she said and threw some gold nobles on the table for the healer. "Spider, I didn't mean..." He trailed off, looking at her, willing her to understand. She continued, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a two unfinished bottles of Bordeaux that are about to do me a great service."  
She missed his look and remained cool and collected on the outside. Inside was a wreck, but she shoved that into a corner.  
Anisa shook her head. "No you don't. I took care of those two. Now the two of you are going to sit down, and you are going to figure our what the hell you want to do." Anisa said in a tone that left no room for argument. The click of the doors and windows locking was heard. 

Spider groaned. "Please tell me you didn't hurt my babies! I've been saving thoes! They're vintage, bottled by the gods!" "They're gone. Vanished." Anisa said. "Now, what the hell is going on?" Spider wouldn't look up, still upset about her wine. It took her a year to steal those. "You've probably already heard about, working in the Court and all." Emry said. Anisa's jaw dropped. "Damn, Spider, that was you?!"  
"Yes. It was fun."  
"Alright, what has that got to do with Emry?"  
"He may or may not have been one of the guards on duty at the time..." Spider trailed off. "And she knocked me out. I was SLEEPING ON DUTY WHILE THE HEIST OF THE CENTURY WAS GOING ON. The courts haven't decided what to do with me yet. I could be hung. And the other guards," Emry said. "Relax, we'd save you before you could be hung," Spider assured him. "That still doesn't help the other guards. Or this entire country that you've probably dragged into a war. I hope you enjoy Carthaki rule." Emry said drily. "We replaced the big ones with fakes!" She said. "No one could tell on these. Neal Cafferey himself made them!"  
"That doesn't change the fact that this has pointed out a lot of flaws in our relationship. Everything we say about a good chunk of our lives incriminates us."  
"Me. It incriminates me. Your good."  
"I'm still guilty of criminal negligence. Dogs and Rats don't mix. Although, if you weren't so set on staying in the Court you'd make a damn good Dog," Emry said. Anasia winced. Emry didn't know Spider's story about the Court and she. Even she wasn't supposed to know, but in a moment of weakness, Roscoe told her all about it. She was a kid growing up around murder and rape and everything else. "The Court is who I am. Its the only thing I've ever known. And I will not leave Roscoe."  
Spider said finally. Emry sighed. "Maybe we need to take a break. From being a couple, not being friends. We have to figure out how to make this relationship work, maybe mingling with others will help." His heart was breaking as he spoke, but he was calm on the outside. Only Spider noticed the sorrow in his eyes. Spider knew he meant well, but it hurt. Alot. It turns out she WOULD need another bottle tonight. "Okay," she said hoarsely. "I will arrest your ass for public intoxication if I hear you've been out to buy a drink." He said, in a tone that was only half-joking. "That's why I'm heading down to the Dove. Anyway, this has been sufficiently awkward," she said, gathering her stuff, and secretly slipping the ring in Emry's pocket.  
He kissed her, desperate and passionate and sweet. There was no goodbye in it. Anisa watched awkwardly. He kissed her, desperate and passionate and sweet. There was no goodbye in it. Anisa watched awkwardly. They collected their things and split. Emry was left to go gather his gear for the night, and hope his distraction wouldn't get him stabbed.  
Spider crashed at the Dove in Rosto's room. It was something she did when she felt sad. He was like her brother and she and Kira and Rosto, and a long, long time ago when Spider was eight, Beca Cooper, used to have dog piles in this bed.  
It was just her tonight, as she had out grown that habit as a child. She still liked sleeping there though. She dozzed off, feeling warm. Rosto came in later and smiled. Spider really was only a girl. She had a long time to look forward to.

**Author's Note:**

> ANYWAYS... Yes, I know these are just random characters to you, but my friend and I write these all the time and we're the only ones who ever see it (well, us and the NSA.) Anyways, there's no missing piece, I'm just going to keep posting these puppies and go with it. So yeah, feedback and kudos would be appreciated, thanks.


End file.
